My balls are so social today.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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