I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
