hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize