Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
