Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he was CRYING into my vagina
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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