Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
