i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he was CRYING into my vagina
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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