normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
