Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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