i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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