am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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