Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
