if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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