I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
