Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
