need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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