So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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