Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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