I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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