So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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