Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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