My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
