I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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