I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
