He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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