stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
