miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
