Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
