Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize