smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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