What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
