I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
