Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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