It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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