we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
