i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
