so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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