Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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