It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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