Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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