why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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