...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
