***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
