The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
