We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if only i could text you this smell
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
