He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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