I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize