This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
