I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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