Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
