His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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