A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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