hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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