so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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