There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm passing your future prison.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
