i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
