Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
