At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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