i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
