THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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