So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
