I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
